I can’t believe it’s been a year and a half since I last laid eyes on this blog. So much is different unfortunately not the financial side that my last post lamented about but, still a lot! My son was born and that kept me pretty busy. Now he’s walking, starting to talk and climb everything. His older sister is growing up, no longer a baby faced little one, but a girl. So smart, so funny, so much her own person. It’s crazy. A different job.
While on maternity leave I went back to work a few weeks early to accept a new position at a different company. It wasn’t an easy decision, I’d been at my last role 6 years and really liked the people. But the new position has been good for me, better location, and my new coworkers couldn’t be lovelier. I still don’t seem to be able to break through a certain type of role and move up, despite best efforts but I am hopeful that will come with time. Workwise it’s an interesting time for me I guess. We’re not having any more kids, which means I can focus a bit more on what I want my work life to be. Not that I couldn’t before, maybe it was just an excuse but not to but now I don’t have that to hold on to. I’m trying to build up my confidence at work and remind myself of my worth. Which can be hard in a way, it’s not like the economy or the job market has been thriving and in many ways I know I’m lucky to have any job at all. But I try to remember that just because that’s true, it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t want to do more. I want to learn, to grow and to challenge myself to take on new responsibilities. So I hope I get a chance to do that at some point.
I’ve also been thinking about what makes me happy lately and trying to do more of those things. Hence the resurgence of blog posting. I’ve been submitting posts for other blog sites off and on for a while now and I really enjoy it. But there’s something really freeing in bearing your soul (or as much of it as you want to share) in a personal blog and putting it out there with no expectations or approvals needed. I just feel lately like I’m constantly worried about things I can’t seem to control. Our new Premier, the US President, what seems to be a continuous back slide of people’s rights, freedoms and ability to understand and support each other. Climate change. The economy. Any and all of these selfish politicians who don’t seem to care about what’s happening to the planet nor the people who inhabit it and only seek to serve themselves. The news is just horrendous. I can’t watch it anymore. I feel such anxiety about where things are headed and I don’t know what to do. I try to do what I can on a personal level. I vote, I give blood, donate to charity, believe in equal rights for all and that anyone should be able to love anyone else. I recycle, compost, don’t idle my car, and try to minimize our family’s waste.
So, to counteract the impending doom feeling that threatens to engulf me on a daily basis. I’m trying to do things that bring the joy. My family, hot yoga, friends, blogging. Maybe a vacation, if we can find the money? I am hoping to set myself a personal goal of blogging at least once a month as something I can do for myself. Even if no one else ever reads these posts except me, even putting the words out into the universe feels good.