Monthly Archives: August 2016

When is the Right Time to Speak up as a Parent?

My daughter is only 3, but I’m already worried about body image issues. I’m sure I think about it so much because it’s something I’ve had issue with my entire life, and it starts young. My Grandfather was never one to mince words made a point of telling me when he thought I was getting fat – I think I was maybe 8 years old? Even my mom made comments a few times about my size in my preteen years, when I no longer spent all day outside riding bikes with friends, and started spending more time on the couch in front of the TV. Maybe she had a point, but how about asking me to go for a walk or a bike ride instead? I think a lot about my daughter’s level of activity and hopes to have her involved in active programs that she enjoys. My husband and I both work out and hopefully provide good examples of being active and moderately healthy. But I never gave much thought to other outside examples.

Last week, we took our daughter to tour her new daycare. She’ll be moving there because the same building will be her home school and it just makes sense to get her comfortable ahead of time. Anyway, we saw the room they play in and met the teachers, then went outside with her soon-to-be classmates for playtime. While out there, once of the teachers who we just met and will figure prominently in my daughter’s day was commenting on the kids and looking at them with proud, happy eyes (which I appreciated). She started to speak about one little girl in particular and referred to her as, “my little chubby chub.” And I was like – what did she just say? I knew I heard right, when I looked at my husband and his reaction mirrored my own.

To be fair, she didn’t mean it maliciously, in fact it came out as a term of endearment if anything. There was a cultural difference, so I wonder if this teacher just straight up doesn’t know that’s not something to say about a kid’s body? And not the point, I know – but this kid wasn’t even chubby! I was taken aback and didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. This was a person I’d just met and didn’t feel like I knew her well enough to comment. If this were my old daycare, I would have sent an email to the person who runs it and asked about it. But alas, this new place doesn’t have e-mail (it’s 2016, people!)

So if I want to bring it up, I have to do it over the phone or face to face – and it was almost a week ago, is it too late to be bringing it up now? Am I overreacting by wanting to say something? Usually I try to not to be a hyper-reactive parent, but when I think about kids hearing a nickname like that, my heart breaks for the kid and I worry that my kid will think it’s ok to say. I definitely don’t want that. Should I say something? Or wait and see if I hear it again? Fellow parents, what would you do?

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Moving On (Literally)

A few months ago my workplace underwent a merger. We were told we would be moving buildings to literally merge as one new company. Logistically it makes sense, and I totally get it.

But as that date draws near (although it’s been pushed back a few times) I realize more and more that I’m sad about it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to have a job and to remain employed for people who are lovely and treat me well, and maybe it’s weird to become emotionally attached to a building – but, change is hard. There are people I’m going to miss.

I’ve made friends with a handful of supportive women who attend many of the same classes at Goodlife over the lunch hour as I do. We chat about our kids, families, how much we do not want to do that class that day. They’ve become a constant in my day that I appreciate and enjoy.

There’s also a physio centre across the street that we all go to. After attending weekly appointments for a while now, I like to think I’ve become friends with some of the people there. I like hearing their stories, tidbits about their lives. Yes, there is social media and Facebook and all of those things that keep me connected to those people if that’s what I (or they) want, but it won’t be the same.

Making friends at this age, is hard. I like to believe that I’ll make a few new friends in this new building we’re going to, but I’m a creature of habit and frankly making friends hasn’t always been easy for me. Maybe I’m just getting hung up on the here and now and should be more optimistic about what change and opportunities the move will present, but it’s always hard to say goodbye.

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