When you have more than one kid, the youngest can feel second best and I’m trying really hard to prove that’s not the case.
As the second born and youngest in my family, I remember how it was. My sister had a baby book and a first haircut lock of hair, I had neither. I was the receiver of old books, old bikes, old Barbie’s. With the second child, sometimes you have to save a buck but as a kid you don’t always understand the reasoning behind things like that.
That’s why I try not to cheat my son for being the second born. His baby book has been (mostly) filled out. I made sure to take the milestone photos and the first haircut, so far so good. But it happens inevitably, with toys and books, blankets. Some things are just more cost effective to use the second time around, right?
Recently, when planning his second birthday I started to realize he doesn’t really have any of his own friends. We hang out with parents we befriended when our daughter was his age and it seemed to happen by osmosis more than conscious thought. We didn’t have to seek out other parents, there were just there.
Maybe it’s because we’re twice as busy this time (ok it definitely is that), but we don’t seem to have bonded the same way with any of these parents. And when I think about how to approach them, it feels a bit awkward. It’s also harder to schedule: twice as many kid activities to organize and clothes to wash and new shoes or clothes to buy.
In July he will be two, I can’t quite believe it. He’s a super funny and sweet kid, and like his sister before him, deserves an awesome party. And a bounce house. Which seems like a recipe for injury and/or disaster to me – but my husband will not be denied.
I want to have a few of his little friends over to celebrate his birthday, so how do I befriend other parents? Do I invite only a few kids or the whole class? Is inviting only a few kids mean? Do I Ieave certain parents a note in their kids’ cubby? Or does that make me creepy?
I really like the parents we hang out and play date with now, but feel that this kid needs a chance to establish himself separately from his sister. I want it to be his party and I don’t want to cheat him. I want him to know he is loved and deserves just as much as his sister, even if he gets a few more hand me downs.
cautiously optimistic 