It’s been a while since I posted anything, but it’s been a weird few months.
In July I gave blood like I usually do. Getting my blood pressure and other in-take done the nurse eyed me strangely and commented on the size of my thyroid, and she casually suggested I get it looked at.
An ultrasound and blood test later and it turned out I had a thyroid tumour. Who knew? Not me. There were no discernible lumps or symptoms to make me suspect anything.
After a visit to the surgeon, a biopsy, and a week of panic inducing waiting, the biopsy came back benign. I don’t think I’d ever been so relieved in my whole life. But, due to the size of the tumour they recommended I take out at least half.
So, that’s what we did. On the first day of school instead of taking my daughter to the first day of first grade, I went to the hospital and gowned up. I’d never been in the hospital before with the exception of the births of my 2 children. I was scared. They wheel you in there with the most monitors ever and hook you up to all the things. All the while trying not show on the outside how much you’re freaking the fuck out on the inside. Plus to add insult to literal injury, those paper hats they make you wear are the worst!
Once the surgery was over I was ready to put it all in my rear view. And I did, I healed up nicely, took up kick boxing, moving on.
Except that today was my 6-week post op appointment. And it turns out the biopsy was incorrect and it was in fact, cancer.
But, there are a lot of really positive things. Odds of recurrence are low. I’ll have to get it checked every 6 months but really, I’m lucky. I know I am.
But man, I wasn’t expecting that. To have cancer at anytime, but especially at only 35 is frankly terrifying. I don’t even want to think of how long it may have gone unnoticed if not for that nurse (who I promptly left a thank you card for).
I just keep looking at my kids and want to hold them so tight. I don’t know how people with more serious afflictions don’t burst into tears at the sight of their kids everyday.
I guess I won’t be putting it in my rear view just yet. Things haven’t gone according to plan. But for now, I’m going to keep hugging those kids so tight and hope for the best.
cautiously optimistic 